Freeze a couple of half-gallon jugs of water. Put them on the top shelf inside the fridge. That’s how ice boxes worked before refrigeration.

“Hold my beer.

He looks like Eric Trump if Eric Trump wasn’t trailed by a goon reminding him to put Crisco in his hair and wear big boy clothes or else Daddy is going to give all his money to Momma Stormy.

By the way I did see Cats live back in the ’80s when every American was forced to do so at gunpoint.

Crushed by a giant steel container loaded with food and drink.  I think that qualifies as irony.

Let’s not get Carrier-ed away here.

Or he’s writing them himself:

There’s still a chance that Jimmy Garoppolo will turn out to be the shitstomper who so threatened Tom Brady’s status as big dog in New England that Brady demanded Bob Kraft trade him away whenever Kraft happened to be between handjob appointments.

If Solo doesn’t want to be bound by some hypothetical shitty results, then joining the suit is the exact opposite of what she should do.

Trinidad never would have beaten them without help from those Tobagons. 2 against 1. No fair.

(Also, why not just tell Hatch he couldn’t come to the event?)

They also signed Kevin White away from Chicago.

Colin Kaepernick should break some kid’s arm.  *Then* a team would sign him.

Disciplinary counsel Maureen G. Bauman addressing the court during a disciplinary hearing for Judge John Russo Jr.

She's no Roger Thornhill.

I’d like to be high or drunk in the event I’m facing death.  Not screaming and petrified like my passengers.

Now, why is it a separate line item? Two main reasons. One, the restaurant wants you to know that it’s doing right by its workers.

Not according to the look on her face.

I’m going with “she mixed a whole bottle of miralax to go with her metamucil and had to shit real bad.”

We here at The Takeout advocate following copyright laws,