I beg to differ. Rick Reilly, himself, will be reading this when he republishes the majority of it upon the birth of Jeter's first born.

Pretty hypocritical to get angry about a spilled drink and then spray shots all over the place.

It's especially difficult for a tennis player to find out that her love is naught.

This is no surprise. The elderly have been moving to Florida for the Heat for decades.

I was expecting more analysis on succeeding despite not being able to use one's hands.

It's probably not wise to tell the Prime Minister that her neighbors are toquing her grass.

Apparently the average American male enters puberty at 20.

The alleged driver:

Tuck sounds like the perfect politician since his life is already in the shitter.

MLB: "Want some pizza?"

Kenya is not oblivious to the two country crash; they're just more into one country conflicts.

Vince Wilfork is Sittin' Fat Down South.

With that face, I'm sure he'll take whatever he can get.

I don't know why people continue to call him "Doctor" Phil either.

"That's right, baby. I've got a twelve inch pianist."

Dodger catcher doing it all wrong.

'Nyah nyah nyah,' fuck you! Get off the goddamn mound! I want a man out there.

This coach has the look of a fucking asshole.

Prosecutors are extremely optimistic about the likelihood of no future offense.

The trashiest place to get a tattoo is clearly prison.