Let’s hear the whole story, Barry.

Ah... I finally figured out why they call it a beat writer.

They’re going to bat players from other teams in front of him? He’s fourth on the Cubs in OBP (despite an unlucky .224 BABIP) behind Bryant, Rizzo and Zobrist and projects to remain that way. It is entirely reasonable for him to bat leadoff.

RIP Aaron Hernandez

I don’t get it.

Nice to finally see a little windfall from the tail end of Ruben Amaro Jr’s tenure with the Phillies when everyone in the organization became accustomed to performing with one hand tied behind their back.

Not sure if you qualify, but it might be a step above commenting: http://gawker.com/careers/job/13…

Oh, okay.

Hard to say for sure, but I thought it was 5 on 1 and 2 on the other.

Plaxico Burress had his whole retirement riding on guns, and he didn’t even know it.

You can tell he’s a true Bills fan because he’s so comfortable working from behind.

I don’t get it.

Unfortunately for the Texans, this wasn’t even the worst blowout in Miami today.

Congratulations on using (mostly) your own words to express yourself. This is a big step forward for you. However, I am not a Cub fan.

I thought it wasn’t Steve Spurrier’s job to stop Steve Spurrier?

Actually, jinxing baseball teams is just one of many powers that the Governor of Texas does not possess.

Oh, you wrote the thing that they said in the movie. Lmao!

I don't get it.

This is great! Thanks for sharing. It's like @pftcommenter, but a little bit less subtle.

Lets just hope her defense is, uh... better than his.