No way, he's MINE. I just know he would love me if he only knew me.

He's a bit aged for Susan's taste, I think.

I volunteer as tribute.

Let us not forget that she also squeezed lemon juice on her breasts in front of a geriatric Burt Lancaster.

I'm sorry that your first dog is doing that, but that's pretty kick ass that your other dog can use the litter box. All my dog does with the litter box is try to eat out of it. :\

I love my cat overlord.

We love you for your optimism.

These photos may once and for all keep my husband from getting these two confused. Or it might make it worse. I have the same problem with the famous Emmas. We are old confused gay men.

These two really need to get on board with this.

Ways to reuse a penis cake pan:

My dad, who was a huge Star Trek fan, passed away a few weeks ago. Here's hoping you're "boldly going" with Mr. Spock, dad.

So, if Mia Farrow is OK with it, I'd like to see a joke that starts out "Woody Allen and Bill Cosby walk into a bar..."

When you have to hijack someone else's tragedy to serve your agenda, you've failed.

I was...unsuccessful.

I'm embarrassed for that entire Jiffy Lube.

Hi. Hello. Your name is awesome. So awesome. Yay.

Their civilization lasted thousands of years without hippo riding. What change do you think resulted in the fall of Egypt?*

They're not as good as a heron surfing on a hippo, but I've been enjoying these videos of cat fuckery this week:

I can't bear to watch. Does the bird let the poor hippo up for air? How long does he hold the hippo under?