She was originally going to go with Summer Eve, but decided that would be too douchey...

NSFW

I pretty much hated everyone by the end. Including myself.

Also smarter.

"I had to secretly repress my love of cock in order to rise to a position of power and influence, but he doesn't? IT'S NOT FAIR!"

I didn't understand any of this and also get off my lawn.

*than

You forgot "Compliment it."

While this may have been over the top as a wedding proposal, the accident is in no way this guy's fault, but the fault of the company which provided the crane. He didn't operate this thing. They don't hand out cranes like rental cars.

Here's an eyewitness sketch:

"Though I'm normally ugh on the topic of women and work-life balance..."

Let's get this straight, even my own fingers after having dived into my favorite BBQ sauce only taste good for a mere 10 seconds or the time it takes me to go to town on them — so how in hell does a smegma jellied appendage covered in saliva coated skin having previously been cloistered in sweat and piss stained hot…

remember

hey jude

I'm dealing with a male roommate who sprinkles on the seat every time. I've talked to him about it DOZENS of times. I just said fuck it and started either wiping it off with his towel (got that idea from PostSecret) or his toothbrush. I fucking can't with inconsiderate fools.

". Society cannot accept when someone with beautiful hair marries someone with bad hair."