Egor claims HE was the breadwinner between the two

Always an Adele, never a Dazeem

Sooo, she’s available?

Jeb Bush reminds me of my cat, Hiro. Hiro is always sad. Except Hiro is way cuter.

Now I have the image of Hugh Hefner’s boner and I want to sew my vagina (and apparently butthole and mouth) shut.

Wait till you hear her music.

Beg to differ

Toni Collette in “The Japanese Story” is a must see.

Revenue steam.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

I was way more of a smart-ass when I worked in a bookstore, since my manager was always job hunting and couldn’t have cared less. During the height of the “Twilight” craze, right when the last book and the first movie had been released, we were sent a metric ton of merch, including those SweetHearts chalk-flavored…

Especially when they are generally pretty hairy except for a neatly shaved bald patch surrounding their weiner. Yikes. That is the least sexy thing ever.

oh fuck off.

I believe the proper name for a group of teenage girls is a gossip.

People please stop trying to make Yoko happen.

Mothers can do literally nothing that pleases the world.

Jeez, I know he’s Wisconsin Thin, but hucking bread at him is a bit much.

Look, it’s just a case of he said, she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she & she said.