Why go out to a bar when I’ve got perfectly good Glenfiddich at home that’s old enough to vote?

“You have twenty seconds to reach minimum  safe distance...”

Pretty sure that’s a Lambo, Dude.

This... is good information. Thanks!

Truly “not every cop,” and all that, though the likelyhood of it seems far from optimal.

ObamaCare is a disaster, far too expensive and deductibility ridiculously high...

... two years knowingly and unlawfully lying and leaking...

Kinda wondering if they’d have pissed on his school books if he was a bit older.

Smashing the cake? Well... drug search... plausible, though pretty unreasonable. Peroxide on the presents, though?!? Anyone care to “explain” that one?

Wait until they find out their bro-trucks each have a...

Trust me. More concise and more comprehensive.

Oh, if only it were true, “President Pence” notwithstanding.

“Billboard’s decision to take the song off of the country chart had absolutely nothing to do with the race of the artist.”

At the faintest whiff of that notion, you’d see a remarkably swift divestment “to a trusted friend or relative.”

... in which she slammed the media, members of Congress, and everyone else for supposedly lying about her desire to eliminate federal funding for the Special Olympics—right before admitting that she wants to eliminate funding for the Special Olympics.

Look. He’s just trying to act in the interests of the state’s economy. Once all those poor people die off it will be shown that he raised the median income of the entire state.

What I am aiming to do is make sure reason prevails, that empathy prevails, that equality prevails, and that we can have a discussion.

“If you can’t afford healthcare on your own, shame on you for not being obscenely wealthy.” - The GOP

can it compete with the General’s Fried Chicken

Every time you think they’ve hit rock bottom...