When beating Duke, celebration krzyld be kept to a minimum.

Underemployed Farting Object

I didn’t know Bob was so controversial in Cuba, the last three bullets call for a “nueva Ley”

This one should rank high

There once was a team from Miami

He was just trying to get back to Dogkato.

But it’s been a great week for guys who have killed and were on your fantasy team in 2010 (see: Harrison, Marvin).

Don’t forget about Oscar’s Razor!

It would be a crying transvestite if Emmitt no longer gave his hot tokes!

It would be a tapestry of umbilical contortions to lose Emmitt.

I think we’ve reached the end of the road with these Emmitt Smith jokes.

Fucking hypocrite getting plenty of support from the big banks, I see.

What if teams could stockpile penalty yardage and cash it in later in the game? You could have a 4th-and-long in the fourth quarter and then redeem your 15-yard personal foul from the first quarter. I feel like most Head Coaches’ heads would explode.

“This might be my last rodeo. So it sure has been a pleasure.”

That Chester A. Arthur was actually a shaved bear, from Canada. He was trained by Roscoe Conkling and was to be sold to P.T. Barnum’s American Museum, but it closed before he could do so. Conkling then turned “Arthur” towards public service as a prank, eventually seeing him nominated for Vice-President at the 1880…

TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…

But not every public gets to vote! Isn’t that what happened with the new Braves stadium in Cobb county (that the powers that be did it on their own authority without ever asking the taxpayers)?

I’ve argued that, actually, Kanye’s a better lyricist than Kendrick Lamar.