Excuse me, sir. He danced during his introduction to the NBA therefore he is a thug who only cares about himself and will never win a championship.

Let's play a game called, "Pretentious Haisley or Pretentious Pitchfork?" I'll list three pretentious and nearly incomprehensible quotes from music reviews; one will be from Haisley, and the other two will be from Pitchfork. Try to guess which is which:

you know what I find offensive? 18 year olds getting shot and prosecutors intentionally throwing the case

Clifford: "He's not a star."

Darren Wilson promptly shot Nate Robinson.

Who's the bigger weirdo: the guy on the toilet or the guy who photographed the guy on the toilet?

All those dogs are dead now.

Looking at those women, one thing's clear: Sanders isn't Muslim.

Contact rider stipulates only puffy Cheez Doodles in the dressing room.

It's just not fair, how you white people suffer.

So, what, you think now he's a 20/10 guy?

Son of a bitch! Which one of you fucking morons left Karl Rove in the dryer too long!?

You're the worst.

Complaining about an NBA star marketing themselves for mass consumption is like complaining about a Deadspin writer for aimlessly choosing one athlete to hate for no real reason. It's just something most people can accept as silly, but realistic.

Fuck Billy Haisley.

This article is longer than the average MLB game.

Halloween 2003 took place while I was in third grade,

Wow. I never knew that Puff Daddy still lived at home for that long.

There is no switchel culture to revitalize.