FlossieLou
Flossielou13
12/9/15
12:33 AM
1

I will never understand why women insist on sharing birth horror stories with pregnant women! First of all, no one cares about someone’s else’s labor unless they’re extremely close so why bore listeners? Second of all, why are people trying to scare someone about to go into labor with a birth horror story or dead baby Read more

12/8/15
7:20 PM
1

I got no remedies to bring on labor because, eh, that micro human is going to come out when it’s damn good and ready. No horror stories, either, because I hate when women do that to pregnant women. Plus I don’t have any. I was super fortunate to have healthy pregnancies and uncomplicated deliveries - which all the Read more

12/8/15
6:00 PM
1

As the mom of a preemie, I’m pretty sure you’re still allowed to wish your boy was in your arms rather than your uterus at this point. Read more

12/8/15
5:50 PM
2

I was induced at 42 weeks. The entire time I was pregnant I had been told that my baby would probably come early. He dropped early, I was dialated 3cm at 37 weeks, etc. NOTHING. I tried every damn thing I could find on the internet. Unfortunately, babies don’t care what you want and will come when they damn well feel Read more

12/8/15
5:36 PM
2

I wish I had read this a few days ago. I’ve been out of the country and when I got back, I texted my friend and said: “Hey did you have your baby or what? I haven’t seen any adorable photos.” When she said no, I made a joke about the baby’s head size. :/ #friendfail

12/8/15
5:26 PM
2

The last couple of weeks suuuuuuuucked and lasted for years. YEARS AND YEARS. In my case, I had a solid end-date, thanks to my jackass kid being breech and otherwise jacked-up in my uterus. THANKS, KID. I had to schedule a c-section for 39 weeks on the dot. It was fine. But that last week... man that was the longest Read more

12/8/15
3:52 PM
3

The current research says those last few weeks of cooking are actually important! I’m glad you’re letting the kid bake!

12/8/15
3:51 PM
4

One of my friends swears by Taco Bell—it’s been her “last meal” before labor for 3 kids. :)

12/8/15
3:38 PM
5

Get involved in a complex, complicated project; the bigger and messier the better. Damn straight the baby will come the minute you’ve got everything spread out, can’t get it put away in a timely manner, and would be embarrassed for anyone to see the mess. Read more

12/8/15
3:33 PM
2

Ma Finch claims I was brought on by a banquetburger with the works. Make of that what you will.

12/8/15
3:12 PM
5

Back when my mom was pregnant she wanted to have a shirt made that said “it’s none of your damn business”. I should probably start an Etsy for that one. Read more

12/8/15
3:02 PM
3

Yep. The daily texts and calls are so annoying. Yes, I had my baby three weeks ago, I just didn’t tell you! My doula says I should take the first year alone to bond with my parasite dinosaur mutant baby. Read more

12/8/15
3:00 PM
2

My son was induced 2 weeks before his due date because he was “too big.” I got some cervix relaxer the night before I showed up at the hospital for a pitocin drip. In around 10ish, baby by 5. There was the problem of the hospital staff thinking he had Hep B, but other than that, it was east, breezy, baby boy. Read more

10/21/15
4:06 PM
1

My SIL went formula for the first baby and then did the “try for six weeks” thing with the second. She made it the six weeks but was like “NOPE NOPE NOPE WANT BODY BACK NOW PLZ” and was like WTF formula is amazing. Weaning and mastitis are shit. Third baby will be formula all the way! Read more