Oh, lord, this article. I could've used it for a friend-of-a-friend a while back. This a chick once who would only do oral with her partners because:

Ditto. Great for the people who have it and enjoy it, but there will be absolutely no what what in my butt for the forseeable, imaginable, within-this-universe future.

That, and there are so many more ways even for heterosexuals to have sex than dick+anything else... but of course we can't get into that, because a non-phallocentric definition of sex seems to be incomprehensible to some people.

I've met so, so many butch hetero women who feel the need to assert their straightness ALL THE TIME and it's just like.... Ladies. Please. Go right ahead, chop that hair off, wear those combat boots, that's what you're comfortable in. This stereotyping of queer people limits straight people too, ironically. And what's…

Wider community of America and, in my experience, Canada.

To save up, I'll just forgo the monthly jar of Nutella for the next.... five years....

Exactly. (And then if it's good, honestly, I'd drop the $75 because I'm a total sucker for lingerie.) Yeah, finding a testing partner is the perennial problem.

I didn't actually know you could wash pearls - or, rather, the thread they're strung on. Hm.

AND THEY MATCH THE PURSE AND THE GEMS ON THE DRESS NECKLINE

.... my god.

Her dress and her smile and her fucking ADORABLE little hair bow gah

That's not shade, that's him throwing a fuckin' umbrella and expecting it to be turned into one of those TruSwag6664/20 pictures that gets posted all over Facebook.

A lot of people make another argument: "AGH just because YOU got victimized doesn't mean nobody else can laugh at your trauma GOD." Well, Napoleon Dynamite - one, that's not a good argument. Two, I personally have never been sexually victimized - a fucking miracle, considering I'm a gay female raised and currently…

RIGHT. If you REALLY wanna be transgressive/edgy, try not marginalizing a minority group for a whole fuckin' act.

It's because he saw "white male" and, to trolls, that's a fuckin' Bat-Signal.

I do know a Boudicca.

If I were a boy I'd have been Aidan or Dylan.

Hey! Charlie's my pen name! My mom wanted all the girls to have girls' names that came with boy nicknames (Charlotte/Charlie, Josephine/Jo, Theodora/Teddy) and Charlie would've worked so much better with me than my actual uberChristian name, so I took it. Kinda glad to see it's catching on. At least SOME kids out…

Yes! Jesus clearly cares SO FUCKING MUCH about your stupid football game!

This exactly.