He is insanely good at hiding in things. Every time he gets a haircut he looks like a totally new person. He needs to do like, a one man movie where he plays all the characters just by changing his hair/beard.

I’m surprisingly impressed.

Can we make Jezpin a regular occurrence? Like casual Fridays.

to everyone i know:

In many countries, historically, paler skin was associated with ruling classes and wealth because a fair complexion indicated a life not spent toiling outside in the fields. Asian ladies in my town who shield themselves from the sun with umbrellas are not trying to look like white people, they’re trying to avoid a…

I work for google, and trust me, green/white they’re not. The whole “do no evil” thing is BS marketing to convince you to give them your data, which they sell at a premium. Google is blue/black Eldrazi control focusing on card (information) advantage. Microsoft is old-school green ramp, focusing on getting out…

If your response is that the NBA should not get involved in LGBT issues with the All-Star Game:

I’m probably being a huge asshole but I have trouble understanding how the non-custodial parents not paying child support are the victims here.

Thanks for ruining boats for me.

Jesus Christ - it’s TED CRUZ.

I knew this would happen.

Plaid shirts and fancy mustaches do not discriminate.

I actually know someone who was in a short lived punk band named “Normcore”. It was all songs about Cheers. Much better than the trend.

Maybe it was actually a cannibal soup pot. This would explain everything!

Amazingly, he’s the same age as Ted Cruz. I guess if you take lots of vacations and naps, you end up with a baby face, but if you spend most of your days scowling and hating, you end up with a lizard face.

What do robots know of silly human concepts like loyalty?

I was laughing and smugly judging the ridiculousness...until the babysitting room came up and I was like, “YES! This place is perfect!”

This may be a news flash but not everyone even has a car! What might those people do in an emergency?

What does a bay leaf smell like? Nothing.

Can “Send Anna on a Thing” be a regular feature pls