Thankfully there isn’t a ton of competition for the title but even if there were I feel pretty confident that Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo would not be “one of Canada’s most infamous serial-killing duos”. Pretty sure they have that title in the bag.

the Bernardo killings/ Scarborough rapist case seems to have touched the periphery of my life in a few different ways outside of the constant watch my friends and I did that summer for the camaro that police kept saying was seen when Kristin French and Leslie Mahaffy were taken (which later ended up being a false lead)

The sentence handed to Karla Homolka was tragic. I know there’s an argument to be made that her deal led the prosecution to find the video tapes of the crimes, but those same tapes also completely discredited her story that she was just along for the ride. I remember being a kid when Kristin French went missing and…

Wait, women are the tomatoes and men are the lettuce? So men are the bland, featureless filler that makes up most of the salad, while women are the tasty stuff that I actually want?

[to the tune of momma was a cornflake girl]

I was a super nerdy kid who loved to read, which is how I got good at spelling. It’s not a marketable skill as an adult, really, but when I was young it was my little superpower.

“the way it feels to be the best at something.” Pretty much the ultimate. Which is why I’m about to kill myself and name you, Molly Fromkin, as the trigger.

I broke my ankle on this post.

Full disclosure: I typed that while lying down.

When asked “Did you ever think ‘Why are all these women in here? I thought this was supposed to be a man’s movie?’”during a Mad Max: Fury Road press conference at Cannes, my side piece Tom Hardy responded with a succinct and annoyed “no.”

My grandmothers both wanted a stake in my name when I was born, so they suggested a name combo, ala Renesmee.

Renesmee Cullen.

I don’t really rash up but I do want to claw my face off every time a piece of jewelry (i’m looking at you, faux gold rings) starts to oxidize and turn green on my skin. Do you have any resources for reasonably priced jewelry that won’t do that? A friend led me to Catbird but it’s still pretty pricy by my standards.

Okay, so I know I’m in my 40s now, but I really don’t feel like it is too late for me to be adopted by Martha. I feel like she would buy me a pony and make me some amazing comfort food while smelling like Estee Lauder.

I can only sleep on a bed made of whipped cream, so I get it.

If they ask you if you’re married, just say “are you proposing? because I accept! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”

You are so right about the dry skin. I’m in the midwest (and considerably darker than Jia and Kara) so maybe it’s a city thing? Maybe I should do one for the dark chocolate-skinned girls someday....foundation and powder can be soooo hard to get right!

No. You are not a freak.

Random but...in reading all the tips down below (so far, makeup, haircolor, sunblock, and I’m still reading), can I just say...