You got it wrong, Madeleine. You're supposed to UNDERpromise and OVERdeliver. ;)

Are you suggesting that there is a Platonic ideal of rape, free floating and objective? That's ridiculous. There is no "actual definition" of anything. Of course the numbers are arbitrary and vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Perhaps you could explain further what point you are trying to make.

She can't help herself. Too much time around Harry.

I believe this is the tl;dr version.

Also body snarking. Also inappropriate. But, yes, funny.

Blergh. Good luck!

Holy crap! What "duties" does she envision for you? Do you have to carry her places? Compete in three-legged potato sack races? Build the chapel yourself???

Yes! Love "the tits" — in fact, it's totes the tits!

Badass watermelons.

Whew. Glad to hear Canadian isn't an "undesirable ethnic group."

Is "journalismism" on purpose in the header? If so, what does it mean?

I'm pretty sure I've never seen a photo where she doesn't look gorgeous. Even ones where she looks wrecked or trashy or whatever. Still gorgeous.

People in your country blah blah a lot about "separation of church and state." Is that why there is such a need to deify the founding fathers and their holy and all-knowing testament?

That's fact telling, I would say.

Ha! Solving a problem where there was none. If I'm having a McD's hamburger on the rare occasion I am perfectly happy with the gooshiness of all the toppings in one warm primordial slop-mess.

Ha! Solving a problem where there was none. If I'm having a McD's hamburger on the rare occasion I am perfectly happy with the gooshiness of all the toppings in one warm primordial slop-mess.

Seems like a not-insurmountable challenge...

Yeah, just wondering. I had a wonderful, admirable great aunt named Minnie, who was the very definition of a "tough old broad." Absolutely adored her. I don't think I knew her proper name was Mary until she passed away.

Would you go with the formal "Mary" on the birth cert, with Minnie as daily use? Or commit all the way to Minnie?

It is rich in irony, ain't it? Thanks for keeping it real (or trying to).