I believe you left off, "first-time-long-time" from your call...I mean post.

Fox Sports 5...wasn't that the tv pilot that Uma Thurman's character shot in Pulp Fiction? You know the small talk she had with John Travolta before snorting a baggy of heroin...

Crudites...let's call it what it is...SEGREGATED SALAD...ya' bunch of vegatists!

Can I contract out the NHL to do a similar multimedia presentation on "Why My Boss Is An Asshole"?

Trying really hard to work in a "Syrup of Ipecac" joke here...fuck it...Happy New Year!

"He looks ready." - Timothy Richard T.

You're the one giving them the "republican" title. The rest of us are just calling them assholes.

"Whew...that was close!" - Bakersfield

"Your joke is old and out dated." - Oakland Coliseum

That's it! Let's just change the name of Boston to...Pretentious.

It's "The South". LIFE is a devastating mix-up down there...y'all.

Can't wait to read Albert's displaced rage blog toward...well...mild cheddar or a Cuisinart Food Processor. (You know it's coming.)

Having the game played in Detroit, Pittsburgh or Washington D.C. makes total sense.

And for my encore...

Now THIS story is appropriate for Albert Burneko's "snark-rage" or as the guys in marketing like to call it, SNAGE.

Can't wait for his "thought piece" on Adrian Peterson. I'm preemptively giving it 3 1/2 Guilts.

"Let's hope that black athletes never succumb to the "socio-economic-tattoo-curse" or else they'll never make it professionally." - Nobody

I'm getting a kink in my neck watching him hold in his stomach...it's okay to breathe there Franz or Olig or Claus or whoever.

"Goddamn that's a depressing image." - Dorthea Lange