I am not high enough for this article or I am too high for this article.

*sighting confirmed...again*

Retraction much?

The old adage: when a guy at a bar asks a 100 women to go home with him and 99 say "no"...applies here.

"He was a funny looking fella..."

*walks up to podium...flexes neck...cracks knuckles...clears throat...leans into microphone*

Marry me...

Debbie Reynolds' daughter is more familiar with "Throw-em Back Thursday"...am I right??? I'll show myself out...

Thank you for your response Mr. Robertson. Now let's talk about your position on underage marriage.

Too soon? Too late.

"I've got you babe..." - Sonny Bono

"I learned nothing new here..." - My 8-year old

"What we need to do as an organization is to ascertain the one constant that has plagued this organization and perpetuated it failings" - Jerry Jones (allegedly)

At this point I'm not so sure that Native American's aren't more pissed off that they are being inappropriately associated by such a goddamn shitty organization than they are the racial slur that is the "Redskins".

"That's great...but who won the set of steak knives?" - Ray Lewis

"Beats a wiener to the face!" - Hawkins Romo

Only if you are Glenn Beck masturbating to an 8x10 glossy of Rush Limbaugh naked.

He's definitely lost weight...I'll give him that.

"Awkward Sex at Your Children's House is Not What the Holidays Are All About" - Bruce Jenner

The Art of Murder - The Murder of Art