I'm a Calhoun. :(

GET SOME GIFS AND COME BACK AND SEE ME.

I get that song stuck in my head fairly regularly. Damn you, Robert Smigel!

Whawhaha? That's a huge total for *anyone*. The fact that she reads THREE HUNDRED BOOKS is what makes it remarkable, not her demographics.

Related: Are you single? Can I buy you a drink?

Nothing starts my morning off right like a cup of watery pesticide juice.

Sorry, but Baltimore has almost nothing in common with the North. D.C. actually feels more Northern than Baltimore.

The top writing teams on "Law & Order: SVU" are also female. Maybe all we ladies can write is torture porn?

If you think this is suspicious, you should see how much I know about how my friend Joe's cousin's college roommate is making $5,364/mo working from home.

She didn't buy it; she bought the time on it. You can see the owner's logo on the bottom center of the board, where it says "[illegible]signage.com."

This came up at my workplace. "Please don't wear body sprays" turned into a month-long debate on whether multiple chemical sensitivity is a real thing. I didn't care if it's real or not; I just didn't want to smell people from a mile away anymore.

Billboards are shockingly cheap. You can get them for $500/mo in some areas, $1,000/mo in more populated places. It's one of the least expensive, most efficient forms of advertising. So yeah, it's a lot of money, but not unthinkable for most people. Hell, people spend more than that on phones.

On a September 11, no less.

Jokes are hard.

Like most Nutmeggers, I had completely forgotten that we even have high school football until this happened.

For what it's worse, there is zero obsession with football in Connecticut. A lot of towns don't even *have* teams.

At the same time, we'd also say it's unsurprising if it were an upper-class suburb like Simsbury. Stupidity doesn't know class distinctions.

I am instantly reminded of Tina Fey's classic "Pamela Mackey" monologue. The fact that that lawyer's name stuck in my brain after all these years shows how effective it was.

I was referring to the past few years in which he did random appearances when he had no projects to promote.

Saturation point: Reached.