Let's hope she remembered to follow up with the staking after the funeral...and that she had a poncho.

YIELD BEFORE THE POWER OF HER BEARD! *bows*

You win the internets.

Here's a crazy idea...what if aliens have a closer relationship to God or a more profound understanding of the divine?

Yeah, you know me!

YEAH YOU KNOW ME!

OmniCorp...you mean Omni Consumer Products?

To anyone who's pissed over Nihal being a so-called "white knight"

The douchebag dared someone to come on stage. Don't get mad because somebody took him up on it and took his punk ass to the cleaners.

Nope. That corpulent jerkass crossed a line.

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, JAMES FRANCO!

Or you could just cut to the chase and follow Jennifer Lawrence's example.

We're also known as the heavy metal capital of the world.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Screw that! When I tie the knot, I'm keeping fit. My girlfriend (and future wife) deserves nothing but the best!

Aaaaaaaand it looks like I'll be giving this a pass. No surprises there. On behalf of my childhood- fuck you, Michael Bay.

GOOD. GRAVY.

I remember this comic. Even as a Church-going kid, it left me rolling my eyes.

*books a plane ticket*

Looks like a village in India is about to be full of castrati.

Well...it is kind of appropriate when you consider how the model bears a striking resemblance to the creepiest sociopath in recent memory.

What wouldn't I give for the chance to stare this fat, ugly, and mean-spirited skank in the face and say the following...

"I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, lady. And my Grampa is fighting tooth and nail with dementia and the pains in the ass that come with it. Through all the shit that has come our way, our faith…

I would like to ask this of Brandi Glanville...

What the country fried Christ crackers is wrong with you, woman?!

Ah, Killeen. There are few places more depressing to drive through.