Top that indeed.

There's an engagement season? Hmmm...this may sound horrible, but seeing as how I'm a native Texan I have a few questions pertinent to this matter.

Will ladies have to get a permit?
Is it catch and release?
What sort of blind would one recommend for a woman on the prowl?
Are feeders allowed?
Are tranquilizers allowed?
Wil…

Who the hell shouts things like that? And what person in their right mind goes to a comedy club expecting to be flashed by the comedians??

Aw for fuck's sake! Why the hell does this bother people? Let the dude have his bag. It's not hurting anyone, and it looks damn stylish. Are folks really so insecure about themselves that they have to attack a fucking teenager over NOTHING to give themselves a false sense of security?!

Call me a weird Christian, but if I got that number, I'd ham up the situation.

No, really. As author and theologian C.S. Lewis once said, "Above all else, the Devil cannot stand to be mocked." I'd poke fun at getting the number. After receiving it, I would give the race official a cockeyed look and say something…

Awww! I wanna hug Gramma Heidi!

Meanwhile, would someone PLEASE tell Gwyneth Paltrow to shut the fuck up? She's so out of touch with how real people function that she'd even make Ann Romney roll her eyes.

Maybe this is overly simplistic, but here's my take on rape prevention.

When I become a father, and if I have a son, I plan on sitting him down for a frank conversation. I will look him in the eye, put a hand on his shoulder, and be direct...

"Son, I love you dearly. But if you ever do anything to harm or abuse a…

"If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on"

...oh Lord. This is gonna make college very awkward.

Seriously question here. I must be missing something about this situation because I'm a man and all, so if anyone could take a moment to please answer this question, I'd be eternally grateful:

*ahem*
What in God's name is so offensive about a woman breastfeeding her child?! This is probably one of the most…

I dunno, even the ladies at the Church I attend (and even most nuns I've met) would probably tell the woman in pink to fuck right off and get her mind out of the gutter.

Five bucks says the gal in pink is also a pro-lifer. Any takers?

You still haven't answered my question. Quit dancing around and stick to the topic at hand instead of indulging your hate-boner for Lady Gaga.

You asked why we shouldn't let "other countries have some level of self-determination."

Does that "self-determination" for other countries include being able to victimize its…

I see...so does that mean we should have greeted Apartheid, Nazi Germany's Action T4, Uganda's "Kill the Gays" policies, Jim Crow, the Khmer Rouge, Virginia's "Crimes Against Nature" law, and basically everything that goes down in North Korea on a given day with a shrug and a collective utterance of "MEH"?

I can't tell…

Okay, someone explain this to me...

For years, right wing dumbasses ranging from Orly Taitz to Donald Trump have been running around screaming the paranoid fantasy that President Obama was born in Kenya, and that despite having an American mother, was ineligible for the presidency because he was not a "natural born"…

I am loathe to wish bad things on people (even if they are total bastards), but Rush Limbaugh is a hateful sonofabitch who needs to choke on a ham sandwich and die already.

Correction, you used to be able to come to Texas for that.

But, NO. Governor Goodhair had to put a stop to deep fried babies on spikes. Fucking jackass has no sense of humor.

If the staff at an amusement park doesn't think making sure that the customer feels safe- or at very least assuring them that they are NOT going to be sent flying into the air only to go splat on the pavement- that's should set off an internal alarm. If you don't feel safe, don't ride. Don't be afraid to tell someone…

Sir, for what it's worth, this Christian has only one response...

You fucking rock. You're an awesome father, and your daughter and her friend kick are really brave for speaking up (And clever to boot. No, I'm not being sarcastic. That sign is probably the most succinct and on-target argument I've seen since the GOP…

I should really thank Mr. Erickson, as my girlfriend and I will most definitely be in the market for coat-hangers in the near future...

...to jam up that fat rat bastard's urethra for being such a woman-hating monster.

Even regular Bob Dole is looking at the current GOP and hanging his head in disgust at how the party is kowtowing to the extreme right and the John Bircher crowd. I can only imagine how infuriated he was when the Senate GOP blocked approval of the U.N. Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (which was…