If the staff at an amusement park doesn't think making sure that the customer feels safe- or at very least assuring them that they are NOT going to be sent flying into the air only to go splat on the pavement- that's should set off an internal alarm. If you don't feel safe, don't ride. Don't be afraid to tell someone…

Sir, for what it's worth, this Christian has only one response...

You fucking rock. You're an awesome father, and your daughter and her friend kick are really brave for speaking up (And clever to boot. No, I'm not being sarcastic. That sign is probably the most succinct and on-target argument I've seen since the GOP…

I should really thank Mr. Erickson, as my girlfriend and I will most definitely be in the market for coat-hangers in the near future...

...to jam up that fat rat bastard's urethra for being such a woman-hating monster.

Even regular Bob Dole is looking at the current GOP and hanging his head in disgust at how the party is kowtowing to the extreme right and the John Bircher crowd. I can only imagine how infuriated he was when the Senate GOP blocked approval of the U.N. Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (which was…

The GOP really needs to listen to the policies set by alien-possessed Bob Dole.

(In all seriousness, fuck Scott Walker and all of these misogynist cockstains.)

Call me weird, but Anita Perry looks like a member of the PMRC.

D'aw shucks! Thank you! And as a native Texan, I felt compelled to reply to this article. Perry is indeed a dingleberry on the ass of my home state. And with this stunt, he's basically extended his middle finger to every Texan and ensured we will be riding his punk ass out of Austin on a rail come next year!

Asked to comment on the recent events in Texas including the controversial SB5 legislation, the spokesperson for the Union of Goons was quick to respond:

"Speaking as an American and part of a proud tradition of goons and goonery, we don't appreciate being associated with that fuckmook Rick Perry. He was blackballed…

What man (or woman) in their right mind would want to weasel out of THAT?! Or make it illegal?! That's like passing on a chance to see Motorhead because you had Nickelback tickets, or refusing to play with a puppy in favor of getting a free punch in the dick from Popeye!

Women can't win either way with people like (p)Rick Perry.

Ordinarily, I'm willing to give young folks a second chance when they do wrong. Because we were all there once and we've all done things we regret.

But incidents like this? There is only one way to handle this situation. The principal should call in every single one of the students responsible for this savagery- every…

But do we still have to go to the team-building retreat??

Who's pandering? I'm not trying to kiss anyone's ass, I'm just stating my opinion.

And plus, I was looking for a reason to use that picture of Leonardo DiCaprio. Because it's fucking awesome.

So putting my constantly running motormouth to a good use to keep my lady happy makes me less of a man in the eyes of alpha males, eh? Then again, I also care about her feelings, dote on her constantly, support her in what she does, genuinely respect her, and go out of my way to do nice things for her because I love…

Apparently all the butter she's been using in her recipes has clogged her brain.

Well...hm. I'm a Christian, and I have some opinions on this, so for what it's worth, here's my two cents:

If these jackholes really wanted to call themselves Christians or pro-life, they would be striving for...

...anti-poverty programs and a warm roof over every head
...good schools available to everyone
...high…

*looks at Rep. Franks*

By God, that man has such a punchable face.

My take on female Navy SEALS? Frankly, being raised for the most part by my Mom, I know for a fact that your average woman is tougher than all of the following: leather, nails, a $2 steak, woodpecker lips, and any male I've ever met.

With that in mind, the women who can qualify to be a Navy SEAL (or a member of any…

Dear Governor Good Hair:

You have a lot of balls, dude. No, really. You and your cohorts have been busy the last few years shafting teachers and students, attempting to replace solid academics with crazy rewrites of American history and pseudoscience to indoctrinate kids with your ass-backwards worldview, and…