God, what's horrifying is that if dude gets out of jail in nine years (assuming he started his sentence when the kids were still 2 or 3), they won't even be teenagers when he gets out. I would be completely batshit crazy if someone told me I had to let a psychopath like that spend time with my 11-year-old. It's one…
FaithM
FaithM
I know! I totally grossed myself out with that image too! Scalia with his big hairy nipples...ugh.
I know exactly how you feel. I never gave much thought to it until I had my son, and now the thought of one of us dying and that pretty much just being the end of our relationship—that legitimately makes me terrified of dying. I became really obsessed with cancer prevention when he was about four months old and now I…
That's what I always got marked down for, too. I don't remember ever enjoying math or being proficient, but I remember being confused about that because I thought I was showing my work. It wasn't until I got to college and took a self-directed algebra course that I realized for the first time in my life that math is…
That's it—throw down, right now! Scalia, Thomas, Alito, Roberts: express milk, on the spot. Right now. Do it like your imaginary starving baby depends on it. I want to see each one squeeze out one little drop of white gold.
Ahhh, love To Venus And Back. It might actually be my favorite, since I think about half the songs on it make me cry every time. I still get teary when I start humming "Josephine."
My mom is that mom, too! For my sister's 15th birthday, we thought we'd all go see Team America, and my mom insisted on bringing my five-year-old sister with us, because puppets! I don't think my baby sister was too traumatized by it, but it was pretty damn embarrassing to go there knowing we were that family...
It's so true. "Fifty Shades" is my postpartum-body-issues read.
After yesterday's news about the breastfeeding discrimination suit failing because men can theoretically lactate, this is just the icing on the I CAN'T FUCKING EVEN RIGHT NOW WITH THESE GODDAMN REPUBLICANS cake.
Oh Christ. Please tell me her story had a happy ending and she didn't end up $50K in the hole...
His exact words were "Can we please not see that movie?" Safeword DENIED.
Oh my God...every one of these articles about how bad "Fifty Shades of Grey" is going to be make me THAT much more excited to see it. I wish I had taken a picture of my husband's look of twisted pain when I told him that we're going to get a sitter and go see it on Valentine's Day.
WHITE MAN TALKING! QUIET EVERYONE! WHITE MAN TALKING!
I get really creeped out by guys who have no body hair. Sometimes my husband trims up a little too much around his vitals and it's just...ugh.
I'm at a point where I don't even know if I'm looking forward to hate-watching or if I'm actually just looking forward to the movie itself...I think I'm just looking forward to Jamie Dornan, but there's a lot of existential dread wrapped up in that...
I would totally scale his banana IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN.
Just reading everything you've just written tells me that you are not the paragon of human potential.
Fucking right?!? My biggest fear when I was pregnant is that I would give birth in my car, but apparently I should've been more afraid of giving birth in a crowded space while some asshole takes his phone out and takes a god damned picture of it. Then POSTS that fucking picture on the FUCKING INTERNET without my…
Holy motherfucking...