Looks familiar......

One word.....  Estrogen.

Please tell me his name is Spot.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were frightened by a thermometer as a child.  Perhaps you need to see a doctor about some desensitization therapy.  

Nobody should be cooking poultry without one, but it would also help check to see if the soup is hot enough to burn your kid’s mouth.

It’s too bad Hillary wasn’t fireproof.

I was in my 50's before I owned an instant-read thermometer.   How I survived and cooked anything at all without one, astounds me now.

Or let’s at least have an outside agency vett them to make sure no Russian moles get in.

This makes me want to finally do something about that airbag indicator light that has been on in my Ford for the last 2 years.

And you always hear it in Gene Wilder’s voice for some reason.

Whatever it looks like, don’t cross the streams.

In other news...   Amazon is bidding on the military “Suffering in Tech Hell” (Sith) contract.  Employees are fine with it.

Only after 8 tons of them wash up on his beach.

Cute.  I see one guy who has blunted his points, and another guy pointing his blunts.

You would think AI researchers would applaud this as a successful replication of a basic ubiquitous human trait, as terrible as it is.

Stop living in Paradise - that’s the only answer. If a place is nice to live in, it will eventually be destroyed. Move to Phoenix - it is immune to all natural disasters save the occasional river/creek flash flood. Of course, the dry, dusty conditions the rest of the time will suck the life out of you.

Isn’t that what THIS is for?:

Oh, but they don’t all look like Boy George.

New brand of coffee named “Giant Thunderclap at Dawn” in 3..2...1...

“Spock, scan for beautiful maidens I can seduce - otherwise, take us out of here.”