I mean, sure, yeah, you can always find idiots on social media. Like, if Jesus came back from wherever he's been for the last 2000 years and started handing out free ponies, people on Twitter would be like, "FUCKING JEW GO WORK IN A BANK." So I don't think that the Twidiots' opinion about Miss America is very…

The children. They have been left behind.

Hashtag-Blessed

This comment is delightful. You are delightful. In all likelihood, everything you touch turns delightful.

I've been reading Dirt Bags for years and years and I still can't shake the habit of reading the attributions as reactions. Comme ci:

"Hi. I'm the token black model in this catalog. Thanks for inviting me here, so that I can tie this dumbass bow on a white girl who is clearly ignoring me, because there's another white girl in the room (who coincidentally is also ignoring me). The ciiiiircle of life. Stupid bitches."

fuck the Packers.

Umm, I disagree. Because yogurt has been a staple in diets outside of the U.S. for centuries. It's popular in Turkish and Indian food and countless other cultures. Like. Come on: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yogurt#Hi… And it is sure as fuck not gendered.

Shit, using her logic, I can say and do things a total douchbag would, and if you were offended, I can claim YOU took it out if context because I am from California?

That was the biggest shocker for me—"People still cite Patrick Moynihan? With a straight face??"

Woah, you have an incredibly sympathetic view of Walt here, and I have to disagree on several points:

Timothy Olyphant

I am in love with US Deputy Marshal Raylan Givens. That is all.

I thought this article was going to be about Mary Martin.

Hey come on man, I'm planning on moving to Portland in a year! Not because it's the land of dreamy eyed vagrants, but because I'm moving in with my Portland-bred boyfriend, and we want to live near his family and also he has a ton of job hook-ups for the both of us and also back off, I'm trying to grow up but it's…

That dog has human eyes. Its like a person is wearing a dog mask. I'm so scared you guys.

Wow, give a teenager money, attention, and notoriety for becoming pregnant, and it's like they think they have to keep getting pregnant to keep that money, attention, and notoriety. Odd, huh?

I durv you, Jennifer Garner. You ran and kicked your way into my heart and stole some precious thingymabob for the CIA / SD-6, and now I lay here bleeding, every drop a love letter of how happy I am to be utterly devastated by you.