The other morning I had leftover Indian food and Milk Duds for breakfast. I fucking love it!

Great, now I'm having PTSD flashbacks to being 8 and having to choke down three more bites of cold, limp broccoli before I could leave the table. Hurk.

Are you me? Vans, baggy pants, and oversized t-shirts with skate logos were my signature style (because no one else would be caught dead looking like that?).

Uh oh, this is reawakening my childhood dream of being a cat burglar. Get back in my brain, dream! This isn't like stealing your brother's Pokemon cards, we could go to real jail now!

Angels in the Outfield was MY jam! I once mistakenly watched 45 minutes of Touched by an Angel thinking it was that movie (similar names, okay?!?!) but Joseph Gordon-Levitt never came on. HE NEVER CAME OONNN!!! I was devastated, and supremely pissed that I watched all that Christian shit for NOTHING.

Dude I am SO getting tickets for that tour!

I wait tables now, and if I get off late and go straight to bed I always dream that I'm back at work. Not in a horrible stress-y way, but just that I'm still chatting up customers and taking orders and shit. All. Night. Long. And then I wake up and get to go right back :(

Nope, he is single and lookin' to mingle!

First of all, it's Jemaine, no r! And second of all, that's impossible because he was occupying my daydreams on Sunday.

That part broke me :(

Ah man. What got me was the boy who'd shot his little brother by accident, and he talked about how his mom said she thought he might have done it on purpose... So freaking sad. That poor kid.

It's cool, I remember listening to TAL on the radio as a kid driving around in the car with my dad, and now I listen to the podcast as an adult.

That episode. So heartbreaking. Don't listen to it at work or you'll be sobbing at your desk, trying and failing to play it off as seasonal allergies.

You know what this means...

RAWRRRRR!!!

I feel sick to my stomach. Zimmerman may be not guilty in the eyes of the law, but he's a fucking murderer and everyone knows it.

At this point I've learned more from DIY internet instructions than I did during the entirety of middle school. I even cut my own hair last week after watching a YouTube video and it ain't bad! It's also not really really good, but. Have fun with your plug!

Yowza. I knew I was born in 1988 but I didn't realize that that year actually took place on some tragic futuristic space cruise.

You can buy a new keyboard for $10 on ebay and find videos on YouTube on how to install it! I replaced my own keyboard a couple weeks ago and I feel smart and accomplished and, if I'm being totally honest with myself, I'm probably the next coming of Steve Jobs.

OK, related question. A "friend" has been using that Jergen's gradual self tanner on the regular, and found that a really unfortunate side effect is how it turned her BEAUTIFUL NEW BRA (seriously, the best, most gorgeous bra she's ever bought) slightly yellow-y on the inside of the cups. I, ahem, she already tried…