Good! I always thought it was such bullshit that my birth control was held hostage for a quick poke 'n grope. Just gimme mah pills, lady.

I would suggest grout stain! It's for whitening dirty gross grout, so I'd assume it could take care of the polish residue. And it comes in lots of shades to match any grout. Try Home Depot!

It is now! Science, meet Patient Zero.

Just not white ones. I wore some with my Halloween costume and I was too drunk to take off all my rings and bracelets and then my gloves every time I wanted some munchies, and lemme tell ya. Those gloves got nasty. All covered in churro grease and lipstick smears :(

I'm so, so flattered right now. And by Fozzie, no less!! I'm blushing.

Heh and I get embarrassed when my dad says "gracias" at Mexican restaurants. At least it's born out of an unabashed love of the country, but still. Ugh ur embarrassing me, Dad!

IT'S SO APPROPRIATE that his mouth looks like a puckered asshole. Because basically, yeah.

Ooh sounds like Faux-manda on Revenge! She had that golden Russian thang goin' on.

I think even in a 'drink your pee or die of dehydration' context I'd seriously consider just dying.

Huh! Will disgusting wonders never cease! But, first morning pee is the grossest pee. Would it not be simpler just to snack on gummy vitamins throughout the day? Call me crazy, but that's what I'd prefer to do.

Arghhh and if timeless has no meaning, then what about other words??? They're all just made up by fallible humans!! All words are meaningless! My god, this is worse than the time that I said "what" over and over again until it wasn't a word anymore, it was just a weird sound I could make. I'll be having an existential…

Green eyes are the rarest of all. GREEN EYE FACTS! Did you know green eyes come from a mix of blue and brown genes? Indeed! Green eyes are most common among descendants of those who lived at the frontier of blue and brown eyed folks, like the Middle East, Russia/Mongolia, and where the Celts and Normans got it on. Did…

As a blonde/white person, I think blonde/blue/white people are freaking boring to look at. So much beige! We blend in with light-colored sand and the ubiquitous off-white comforter! Lily-white folks are going the way of the poodle skirts and sweater sets. It's a dated look- they're gonna need to update the definition…

I was under the impression that drinking your own urine was really bad for you- like, it could possibly kill you. You're just ingesting your own waste again! But drinking other people's urine is okay, because different waste (or something?). I dunno, it was a shipwreck survival guide more concerned with staving off…

Ha! I love those realizations. In college I dated a guy who I was starting to think was shy because he didn't talk much. But then it turned out he was just always really high whenever we hung out and he had trouble forming enough connected thoughts to have a conversation.

He does lean great.

Puncture was awesome, but I think I fell for him in Push. It keeps airing on FX and I have to sit down and re-watch it every time. It's pretty dang good.

Oh my, Ben Whishaw! Perfume is one of my favorite movies to watch in bed while hungover. So dark and fucked up! I wish he'd be in more movies. Or all the movies.

It's good you try to keep that from him but kids have a way of sensing that type of stuff anyways, the sneaky, clever bastards. I still think, though, that short of outright abuse, the last thing you should do is interfere with the mother's custody.

I can only respond as a step-child, but maybe that's just the perspective you need! In my sagest of wisdoms, the biggest no-no of negotiating those tricky step-parenting waters is interfering with the kid's relationship/time with the Other Parent. Seriously. Unless you suspect abuse, don't go there. You'll be the only…