I got a job! After a loooong ass period of post-grad unemployment at that. Sure, it's barely above minimum wage, and only part-time, and the kind of job they basically give anyone who walks through the door- yikes, gotta get back to the bright side- and it's a job!!! With moneys!!

DUDE! Teen Wolf? Holy mother he is fine in that, even if Derek is a bit of an idiot.

It's your money, use it when YOU need it!

At the moment, Jared Leto. I watched My So-Called Life for the first time last week and I've timelooped back to my teen crush on him (which, weirdly enough had originally stemmed from Requiem for a Dream. And is probably why I find heroin addicts so sexy. THANKS OBAMA).

I call it "the boudoir" in an awful fake Southern accent, like Arlene in True Blood. "No smokin' in the boooudwahr, Terryyyy!"

I WILL SMASH YOUR FACE INTO A JELLY!!

Um, it's Holland Oates. Holland is his first name, Oates is his last name. I just don't understand how he managed to bite himself in the face.

AARGHHH FAFSA FLASHBACKS!!!

You know, I still did not understand where I went wrong until I read your post! I will definitely try Kitty Litter next time, because I am sure there will be a next time. Thanks!

What is your most disastrous attempt at cleaning something?

Down Periscope is a damn fine hangover movie! Be proud, girl. You know you're feeling better if you can croak along with the Louie Louie scene.

I hate the feeling of hot water against my miserable, booze-leaking body, but it works! The morning of my college graduation I thought I was going to pass out in the shower, but I held it together and felt so much better afterward. I should try the tub thing next ti— Dammit EvilAbed there won't be a next time! Never…

EvilAbed's Foolproof Hangover Cure™:

That's it. I'm tying a bunch of helium balloons to my lawn chair and leaving this shithole behind. Goodbye, Earth, it's been real.

Heh heh. I was going to add the music video, but then I thought 'naw, I can't possibly do that to these poor people.' It's stuck in mine now too, though, so... karma?

It's unfortunately catchy as hell, but those lyrics... oh man. I almost fell off my barstool the first time I heard that song (in a honky tonk, in Tennessee, the only place it could possibly still be publicly played in 2010)

I would be one very proud and happy dead girl if my headstone ever reads "EvilAbed, Fag Enabler".

I've yet to hear a more racist song than Tim McGraw's Indian Outlaw, but this one could be in the running for silver.

That's because they're teenagers. They don't give a shit! For the entirety of sophomore year my daily lunch was a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and a Mountain Dew. Because it was delicious and the whole thing cost $1.10 from the vending machine, and because hearing adults nag about how bad junk food was seemed like a…