EventHorizon
EventHorizon
EventHorizon

"Titanfall," the most anticipated game of this generation

Ask them if they can get rid of blood stains, fresh blood stains, lots of blood, lots and lots of blood and can they hurry right over before the kids get home from school.

You COULD in fact kill it with fire if you schedule them to come out just once. I recommend torching the van when he's nearly done with your carpet. That'll send a message.

Rocky Raccoon checked into your room
Pet him and he'll bite your face off

I saw the headline, but then I thought, nah, too easy. Even for me.

AHHHH SKEET SKEET SKEET!!



Well, that's enough Internet this year...

Maybe if I get around to it. Which I probably won't, since my to-read pile is 9 feet 5 inches tall... and is dwarfed by my ebook list.

If they liked it, then they should have put a ring on it.

I think I know where we can get some...

/notmine

My 10-year-old wants a $600 Ableton Push midi controller and piano lessons. And a piano. And a customizable phone (I forget the brand), and an Apple laptop. Sorry kiddo. You'll get the $99 keyboard controller that has a little piano keyboard and you can look up lessons on YouTube.

"Pants and Tits" is also the nickname the tabloids gave to Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi.

"Please use a condom."

it all relates

So much for the Meet and Greet with Al Davis.

Holy shit, a completion in Oakland.

And yet...you're still watching.

On a lighter note, maybe this will prevent the yearly trample-deaths we've come to expect as a normal yearly work place hazard at Walmart.

Don't forget to "squinch" your sphincter as well.