You misunderstand. I'm not saying that grown men buy these things to lure children in. I'm saying that a grown man with such a fetish for a children's series about sparkly rainbow friendship ponies probably has some other concerning predilections.

These should all come with a free "500 feet from schools and playgrounds" restraining order.

GO HOME SAMER YOU'RE DRUNK

This isn't really a surprise. I've been a Celtics season ticket holder for 20 years, and according to the guys in my section every NBA referee is wicked queer.

You forgot to add, "If you have seen the video or can provide a copy of it, contact us at tips@deadspin.com."

Curious, do you guys have a master tag list to refer to for things like this? Or do you just tag it with whatever terms seem relevant to you when you're writing it?

But go to Brooklyn and cook them in an old timey oven and you can charge whatever you want.

That's some fantastic work, Tom. You've really outdone yourself this time. Incisive commentary like this is why I come to Deadspin.

If Stephen A. or Skippy B. said this, it would be a hot take and replayed across all ESPN platforms for 24 hours.

Stop posting stupid shit like this. http://deadspin.com/texas-longhorn…

What's dick about it? The Panthers could have kept him on the 90-man roster. They didn't want to, so they took the risk that he would be claimed off waivers. He was claimed off waivers, as they understood was possible when they waived him. I really don't understand what's wrong with what the Pats did.

DS doesn't do this, but STOP WITH THE FUCKING VIDEO/AUDIO PODCASTS ALREADY, WORLD! It's a lazy way to generate content without having to take the time to sit down and actually write something. I'd rather read an organized story than listen to people shoot the shit like they're sitting around the house watching a…

Personalization and organization.

Ray Felton did the same thing last week, except it wasn't a dunk he threw down, but a 12-piece KFC bucket, and it wasn't from the free-throw line, but from the parking lot of the KFC because he just couldn't wait until he got home.

Remarks live-streamed on Eagles.com.

So how long you think til they figure out you're trolling?

Send all complaints to the NFLPA. Teams can cut a player on contract because the contract the player signs says they can, and that's based on the CBA that the player union agreed to.

Yep, let's encourage people to race their Jaguars and try to beat their best times. I'm certain this would only be used on racetracks and never on the open road.

It's a series of tubes, not just one.