Should have just offered Emmert some Mentos.

I would expect nothing less from someone I can only assume grew up hearing endearing stories of his great-great uncle John Wilkes.

Baez makes at least one highlight reel play every game. As a Brewers fan living in the suburbs of Chicago, I see and hear about them all. The problem is, I like watching him play, and almost look forward to what he will do next. Maybe Cole Hamels was right. Oh, God. 

*Alleged

Let me rephrase your math and make this post even more insidious.

Are his shades being held up by one of those cool librarian chain things, or just tangled in his beautifully exposed chest hair?

Who among us wouldn’t feel blessed to have that sitting on our laps and hiding a boner from the photographer?

I’m contacting the Social Security Administration this afternoon to get the ball rolling on changing my daughter’s name to Ryu So Yeon and crossing my fingers.

Steve Fields really sympathizes with that can being put into such an unfortunate circumstance.

Caleb’s story refers to a “standard Indianapolis woman,” and no further description of her was needed to get a perfect picture.  Well put.

A vendor from work took my brother and me to this game. He got so pissed after the Flames went up 5-0 about 12 minutes into the game that he handed me $50 for some beers and left. We stayed.

They were saying “Broooo-ers”

Watching the movie wouldn’t bother me.  Watching it with others wouldn’t bother me.  Watching it with others while they were able to see what I was thinking about during the fap sessions would really make me contemplate where I would be spending the rest of eternity.

Wait a second. Shohei Ohtani is Elon Musk? 

While it doesn’t prove that he actually watched the game, he tweeted out that the reason Trump didn’t throw out the first pitch on opening day was because his hand is too small to grip the ball. Never mind, he tweeted that out on April 5, only six days after opening day...No chance he was watching.

I’ve argued for 20 years with anyone who would listen that the Kinks are the most under-appreciated band of all time. I’ve got nothing else to add. Just listen to them.

Dear Christ. I don’t miss college. Not all of it, anyway.

Serious question, here. Would throwing a rake into the bunker be some sort of penalty, similar to touching the sand with your club before hitting? I’ve seen a penalty when a player was climbing down into a bunker and accidentally grounded his club in the sand to try to keep his balance. The rules argue that you are…

My friends and I call gin and tonics “Mind Erasers.” We are all well north of 40, and truthfully don’t need any help in that department. Doesn’t stop us, though.

I think the reason that song is on those lists over other songs is because it was/is popular enough that everyone has heard it. Of course anyone’s taste in music is subjective, and if most people are familiar with the 25 most played Beatles songs, I can see why it would rank toward the bottom. I have this argument all…