Elseif
Elseif
Elseif

I work for horrible people who provide very, very little sick time (like, 3 days a year?) to those of us with salaries and just dock the pay of their hourly employees if they call out sick. Nor do they provide health insurance for any of us. (I’m there for reasons too complicated to get into but hope to be out of

We should just send them this in reply, in addition to outing them.

What the fuck does “sugar tits” actually mean?

Cognitive dissonance.

Obvs. it’s the golden top ramen. What greater sacrifice could there possibly be?

Look, I love proper English as much as the next Grammar Nazi, but it puts people off when one speaks properly. I do have my pet peeves, though, like anyone else with a brain. But people are challenged and call me officious for speaking in my normal voice. I can't help but feel the need to tone this shiz down. Where

Will I be in the greys forever? I seem to remember being out before...le sigh.

I saw this on Metafilter, and upon reading it, I truly understood what a "trigger warning" is. This woman could be my mother, and this is INFURIATING. If you've suffered through this kind of parenting and struggled with the decision to cut a parent out of your life, you just inherently know from her language that this

Okay, I thought I was immune but I believe flight 93 was shot down. I don't believe in any other 911 conspiracies or any other whacko stuff. Well, except I do talk to my cat quite a lot.

Booooo, Cecily Strong was better than all them all! ***Boooo***

Uh, didn't Martha Stewart start out as a model? Not that I am defending GOOP.

How could someone film this and not pet that kitten? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FUZZY, PET THE DAMN KITTEN! Gah! #peopleareinsane

Wait...what nudist colony? [[[adds to map stats]]]

All the sardines are like, "You lucky bastard! They must think the sun shines out of your ass!" Bloody whales!

LDSD = Some sort of intergalactic, hallucinogenic Mormon to knock on your Martian door? Cool.

Me, too!

When I lived in Santa Cruz, CA, there was a surfer dude who had a big bite taken out of his side by a great white. When interviewed in the hospital and asked how he felt about the whole thing, surfer dude replied: "Hey, the shark was just doing his sharky thing and I got in the way!" Indeed.

It's like you're RIGHT HERE! ;P

Right, what could possibly go wrong? #heyguyswatchthis