I do, hormonal birth control is a mean mean man.

What about spermicide? I feel like that option is completely forgotten in birth control discussions. I love it, no hormonal side effects and no condoms :)

I refuse to punish myself because cavemen were too stupid to figure out carbs.

My toddlers hate it, but they still shit themselves so I don't trust their judgement yet.

An ice-cold glass of whole milk from time to time keeps me from murdering just about everyone.

I don't know who you are Julie Klausner but I need to know what is supposed to be wrong with drinking a glass of milk?

A lot of men have no idea how much makeup it takes to look like you're wearing no makeup.

Truly. She's so freaking insane.

(pseduo edit) For those of you who can't read the caption (waaaaah jezzie why) it says: "Yes, we defeated you for all time! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!"

Seemed like a good time to pop this baby out.

Probably! If you ever get a chance to give it another go, I really like the ONE brand.

Here you go: http://imgur.com/yXkyl

Yeah the gross smell is, well, gross, and if you want to go again and start off with oral on either part, it kinda sucks. I suck it up and deal out of paranoia but I feel like that shouldn't be something you worry about.

Well, add Huckabee to the long, long list of bigots who can't give me one single good reason why gay marriage is any of their damn business. Ask them how it impacts their god-fearin' hetero marriage and they'll blather on vaguely about history, tradition, the bible, etc. etc. GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY IT ACTUALLY…

I dunno man, I'd never do it on purpose to get out of one (I can't just whip up fake tears anyways, I'm a terrible liar) but I'm pretty sure if I was pulled over I would immediately start crying anyways. Because I hate being in trouble and I can't imagine what it would do to my insurance rate. THESE AREN'T PITY MY…

WIN

After one of her team mates gave himself immunity after their team lost a challenge, she was all, "I'm from New Jersey, you pull that sort of shit where I'm from and you get your ass beat!" Then when she gave herself immunity a week later, she said, "I'm in this competition for MY SON, its a competition and I have to…

You do not own it, Will.i.am