Oh, I forgot, young people don't know ANYTHING and have no life experience worth contributing, ever. Thanks for reminding me.

As in, I had never once been on a date or anything before that.

I'm aware that my experience is uncommon, and that I've been lucky. No need to be rude about it. I'm sorry you haven't been so lucky yourself, but let's maybe try to dial down the bitterness, ok?

True, but you should never feel obligated to "give someone a chance" if it's something that you really feel isn't ever going to grow on you. I was once asked out a by a guy who was friendly and cute, but also extremely lazy/apathetic and a huge stoner. I knew that wasn't ever going to happen, so I said no.

Nothing wrong with picking the right one on the first try!

Be picky now, avoid divorce later.

18. And he was my first date, my first kiss, my first everything. In high school I felt like the only person who had never experienced any of that.

My husband was dying his hair black when we met! It bothered me, but not enough to not fall for him. And within three months we wasn't dying it anymore anyway.

There's nothing wrong with being selective and having high standards, especially if you're looking for someone to settle down with for life and not just have a casual fling with.

How rare are the shooting stars? I've been looking almost every night but haven't seen any.

Preachin' to the motherfucking choir, Burt.

DONE :)

Swiss, actually! My mom is 1/2 Swiss, 1/2 Austrian.

My Oma says if it's not pork, it's not worth making. So there.

CAN be, sure. But pork is sort of the quintessential classic.

Yup. That's how my mom and Oma always made it. Yummy yummy pork.

My mom makes the most amazing schnitzel and it does NOT taste like chicken mcnuggets. It's not even made of chicken, for goodness' sake.

He could always go by Ben though!

I wasn't exactly thrilled when Kourtney Kardashian named her daughter Penelope. :-/

My husband has the cutest, most squeezable butt in the whole wide world. My reverence for his fine derriere rivals Leslie Knope's admiration for Ben's butt on Parks and Rec. Some people just like firm, shapely ass, ok?