this is just too much like my dear darling beloved grandmother who would say "oh, how INTERESTING" when what she meant was "that's the ugliest/stupidest thing ever"

So, basically, they're just like Midwesterners, but with cooler accents and without the use of "interesting" to mean "completely fucked up" and "that's okay" to mean "I will swear a blood oath to destroy you and all you hold dear."

My boyfriend once misheard someone on the television talking about Channing Tatum and now that gentleman is known in my house as Charming Tater.

Well it seems that the plastic industry is milking this study for all it's worth. If only it were more cultured to realize that the plight of the planet is whey more important.

Maintaining your 9 month old baby's twitter account seems like a lot of work for absolutely no reason. Not even judging (haha, no okay, I am) but why on earth would you expend the effort? I know my friends just had a baby and they're so busy/exhausted that they would laugh their asses off if I suggested they create…

Salman Rushdie bringin' the LOLs today!

America's Baby already not happy about the Melissa Joan Hart baby account.

The 8-year-old in me is sad that Melissa Joan Hart is kind of terrible.

Charles Manson was also born to a teenage (16) mother. I guess it's unfortunate we didn't learn from that example.

God this whole YEAR, I feel like I have been taking crazy pills. This, the trayvon case, now voting rights. I wish I could just go into a cave and never come out.

Right?

This gif is always wonderful.

Holy shit this...

Thanks for commenting. I hope we don't let you down.

And even more importantly, marriage is still a legal contract between two parties. As far as I know (and I am not a lawyer), law does not allow horses or parakeets to enter into a binding contract. I believe it is still limited to human adults.

I would like to create legislation that forbids any adult male from creating legislation relating to sex organs that they do not have.

Aaaaand now the entire senate is going to hate him. Texas state senators can't fundraise for 30 days before and 30 days after session. He fucked his buddies just like the rest of us (Texans).

"Texans value life," Rick Perry said, as his state is approaching 500 executions.

And didn't he basically go "Ruh-roh" and shrug when someone asked him about people who were "wrongfully executed"?

I hope someone breaks the air conditioning in the legislature bldg