I'm pretty sure I would rather kill myself than wear drop-crotch pants.

HOW DARE YOU, sir. HOW DARE YOU use cute, sweet little Nemo as your username when you are are clearly a horrible jerk and unmitigated asshole. You don't DESERVE a Pixar-inspired name.

Hey, you're back! Yay!

There's even a chance of it happening with a vasectomy too.

I've been playing video games for twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. There are a lot of shitty attitudes, both from within the industry and from withing the gaming community as a whole, but at the end of the day I'm just going to keep kicking ass and the haters can go fuck themselves. You can pry…

Preach.

Nothin' but truth, Ellen Page.

You were trying to "save" her? With rape?

Wow. And I can barely even put my hair up in a halfway-decent ponytail.

I would rather rub powdered glass in my eyes than look at that Kotaku comments, but thanks anyway.

Do they say what the dad is in jail for?

I've only slept with one person. And I'm married to him.

The last time there was an article about this, I suggested that people keep their cats indoors.

This guy looks like a grade-A dickwad.

Super cute!

You're forgetting—if a man hasn't heard of it, it clearly doesn't exist.

That's exactly why I never go completely bare. It's just too uncomfortable. I just keep things neatly trimmed and shaped.

MONEY WOULD GROW ON TREES. Sign me up.

If you see something you want to try, ask for a sample first. That way you'll know if it works for you before buying it.

If you ever want to give it some beachy waves, this stuff is awesome.