I don't eat octopus either, kid. Too fuckin' chewy. Now a good tuna or salmon roll, that's a different story.

Oh, I'm aware of it. Backwards compatibility isn't a huge deal for me since I'm not planning on getting rid of my PS3, but I know other people are concerned about it. Although I am very much hoping the PSN downloads transfer over. Microsoft has confirmed their new system won't allow this and I'm hoping Sony doesn't do…

Is there any way at all you could do telecommuting? Even just part of the time?

Kinja's been really weird lately. The other night I kept getting errors, and it wouldn't let me go to my notification page.

I will never not be amused by how apoplectic people get over this.

I just attended my baby brother's high school graduation today and they had 1 valedictorian and 2 salutatorians. We only had one of each when I graduated.

I should have specified—I mean red bell peppers! I can't handle spice at all.

Holy shit, that is AWFUL. I truly believe there is an especially terrible place in hell for people who hit and run ANYONE, animals absolutely included. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, SO sorry you had to go through that.

Potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes (I DON'T CARE if they're technically a fruit), spinach, red peppers, mushrooms (technically not a veggie either, but whatever), beans, pickles (THEY COUNT).

I can't relate to wanting to marry a guy like this. Not even a little bit. I mean...I just can't wrap my head around it.

Oh yeah, I forgot about him. He's ok too, sometimes. But yeah, the bar isn't exactly set high or anything.

Fellow resident of Fort Fun, here. I can assure you that we most definitely do NOT have a Waffle House.

Well, that was...something, all right. Nothing that appealed to me personally, but...well, I'm sure I'm not even in the same ballpark as the target demographic.

I have been in a Waffle House ONE time. And it was the single most disgustingly filthy establishment I have ever set foot in. I didn't want to touch anything. Needless to say, I'm happy to be in IHOP territory.

My mom always has Fox News on when I visit her, and based on what I've seen I always thought Megyn Kelly was the least awful person on there. Thanks for sorta kinda maybe proving me right, Megyn Kelly.

The other day I found my cat in a casserole dish in the sink. Cats, man.

Put it in the dishwasher and calm the fuck down?

This commercial is ADORABLE. Those racists can SUCK IT.

No. The idea of having sex with somebody I don't know—somebody I literally just met—makes me SO uncomfortable.

One of the few things both my mother and I agree on. She actually got irritated at my wedding and told me and my bridesmaids to stop being so loud when the dj put Livin' On a Prayer on.