Farewell, Brandon. Sure, my fellow Browns fans might have spent the past couple of years constantly trying to come up with new things to call you—"the poor man's Derek Anderson," "big-armed oaf," "that bastard...where the hell is the remote?"—but not me; I think those three pretty much cover it. No need to get greedy.

Here's a map of how other teams' Twitter accounts reached out to the Stars and Peverley.

Sabermetricians are having a field day with this guy. Sure, his WAR and BABIP are low, but his LDL is off the charts!

Pistorius sat for a few minutes with his hands over his ears and his body heaving and bent forward as his brother held a hand on his back.

A bucket was placed at his feet.

Ace of Base: [steals 2nd]

He'll turn up.

6) How many bats do you own? 2

I honestly don't see the problem here. You don't deserve to play if you can't handle softball questions.

Sajak: Let's get ready for another tossup:

You should post a picture of the Maple Leafs Politely Passive Aggressive Room, Barry. That one's packed.

PRIEST MODE

If he isn't drafted, chalk it up to the NFL's non-prophet status.

Ronaldo just can't catch a break. Even the ball was taunting him, rolling around on the ground like that.

Now that's the look of a man who knew when to fold 'em.

"Harbaugh looked like a drop of vinegar in the midst of oil."

The St. Paul Tribune reported the coach was popped by pop; the Atlanta Journal-Constitution claimed he was conked by Coke; the Melbourne Herald Sun declared he was socked with a soft drink; and the New York Post said he was assaulted by a dark-skinned youth wielding a knife.

Rival station KBNR has no such restriction.

I don't buy the complainant's story.