No joke, when my daughter was two she saw a man wearing a Lego mask that looked a lot like that (it was Halloween time). She FREAKED out. She was so scared that she asked us to tell her the story about “the scary man” almost every day for like two months, I’m guessing as a way to somehow get past it.

For a real, searing confessional by a man turn to the song “The Ideal Husband” by Father John Misty. The guy just brutally lays out everything he dislikes about himself, all with this wailing siren of panic in the background. A masterpiece of a blend of lyrics and musical emotion.

Was the VO guy for that reel trying to hold in his hit from a joint the entire time he read that copy?

So much better

John Lennon was all the things Albert said, and they aren’t good things, but he just wasn’t *mostly* those things in a cultural context. Not even close. It just reeks of smug, self-righteous cynicism. You can snidely tear down pretty much any figure of global importance without even trying if you want to, their lives…

“To be honest, I don’t much care about which part of the British Isles rightly may claim John Lennon’s ancestry. He mostly was a self-promoting misogynist checkbook activist who imagined no possessions from one of the most exclusive addresses in the history of planet earth, so whichever country wants him can have him”

It’s so crazy how as Gawker has laughed and reveled in or at least promoted the downfall of Reddit and its mismanagement, it itself is completely imploding. I don’t think Nick Denton is going to be around for much longer.

This photo brought to you by “Tommy John” brand ulnar collateral ligament replacement clinics. Have you shredded your UCL into ribbons as Chris Sale is undoubtedly going to do in the next two seasons? Then come on down to Tommy John’s, and if you use the promo code “Deadcast” get 10% off anesthesia!

Hey now, you’ve got to hand it to Jim Abbott, he was unique. I tried to think of someone else who did what he did, but I’m stumped

Yes, I wore flip-flops to a wedding. But in my defense, they were my *dress* flip-flops.

Soccer announcers are the best announcers

By far the GOAT sports gif. Man I can watch it a thousand times. So much to see

Anyone else think Pete is going to get royally screwed!? I think he is being played by McCann, making him go against his non-compete so they can gut him out of the millions they owe him.

Composite shot brought to you by our new technology “Daly-vision”

AND THE CROWD GOES........home, apparently

.

He’s back from retirement folks!

Dude, if you don’t want your fans to turn on you stop retweeting the Tsarnaevs

When you think of the best all time farm animals to have escaped on ESPN’s property, this goat is probably #2 or 3

On the bright side, medical crews had no problems locating Akinfeev.