Neither one can make it through a play?

"If that's what she does to his face, imagine what she'd do to his kibble and bits," Jay Leno said to his empty, pitch black living room at 4:44 a.m.

Elton John: Don't worry, Michael, it gets bett-

Man, I just wish I knew who produced the song in the video.

So quick to rush to judgement; I'm sure she just got estoned to deal with her glaucoma and from the looks of it, it seems to be helping.

And congratulations to Ringo Starr, whose Old Wave now holds the title for worst British record on snow.

I wonder how many runners they had to ask to talk about running before finding these two brave souls.

The rampant corruption was represented by the fact that they have the Olympics in the first place.

Which model? Was it Fabio? Because that guy's a fucking idiot

Those brides are really mailing it in

Don't suppose there's any chance of a pocket version... ?

Let me guess, instead of medals you're going to get dogs for winning.

Notice to Athletes

Oh my god, are you okay?

Saw this happen in a Blazers game against (I think) Golden State a couple of years ago. Coach did some odd stuff to trigger this rule.

Five Lakers: [play man-to-man defense]

Followed shortly by the worst attempt at finding a better replay angle of all time.

This explains why Bob Costas picked Daft Punk to medal.

Look on the bright side, at least she doesn't have to worry about accidentally flushing the world's smallest violin down the toilet.

"Ugh. I hate when they stop flushing."