You forgot biathlon:

+1

Looks like we're in for what will soon be called Lincecum's "Mustache Era"...

+1

And the gold medal for Whitest Possible Scam goes to: di Silvestri & Morrone!

You think that's a nostalgic tear? This was it for nightmare bear. Olympic mascots are like child stars. Best he can hope for is to play the accordian in a traveling circus after this. More likely he'll be in the tabloids with a needle in his arm or we'll find him in some bar in Cabo doing body shots and trying…

This is the weirdest, stupidest comment I've read in a long time. I love it. +1

Hang six and a half, bro

Okay, procuring a mascot for the games took seven hours and 1.2 billion rubles, but give Putin some credit. He did eventually manage to knock all three bottles down with one toss.

End Of The World Backyard Bunker Companies, Ranked:

Yankee Doodle: [sticks feather in cap]

Looking good for him, all the tabs with his phone number on them have been torn off the bottom.

I hope they use this for good and warn everyone about 9/11.

Shaking my head. I remember when the name lohud.com *meant* something in the journalism world

"WHERE'S THE FUCKING LASAGNA?"

By "fooled" do you mean, "made to look foolish" like when someone comments on a joke they didn't get?

If you defocus your eyes, the pants reveal a 3D image of a pitched tent.

The Russians could have neutered the strays, but they don't have the balls

Boy will his face be red when he finds out this isn't the X games

Dude I just realized that whenever I see Per Spett my co-worker Clerk Kett is never around. I wonder....