I got it, don't worry.

This is the third "Kiss From A Rose" reference I've read today. I'm old and clearly not a part of whatever secret cabal has decided this to be an internet thing for the next few hours. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE

Aramark: putting the "ass" back in Astros

+1 and totally true

And now I just posterized DeAndre Jordan. BOOM! In your face!

Didn't they serve wine along the course in that 1896 Olympics? Our understanding of what makes peak performance possible has certainly come far. Unless...Wait, has anyone tried that recently?

That poem's stanzas were so poor Nissan is issuing a recall

Further proof that wherever you'll find a stack of pancakes, you'll find OJ

"Who made this illegal drop?"

Not sure if this is a Mother's Day song per se...but it is a great song about deciding whether or not to become a parent. I waited until my mid-30s to have my first child and my concerns about whether or not I was fit for the job are so summed up perfectly by the lyrics it brings a little tear to my eye every time.

Man, I can't wait 'til this day is over. Got a bottle of bourbon at home with my name on it. No seriously, it has my name on it.

Now it's all making sense. Sentimentality and nostalgia are Kobe's Achille's heel.

Pro-lifers take note: overturning Row V Wade causes senseless deaths.

"When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself"

We used to say if we ever ran low we could probably scrape resin from our curtains....I'm guessing his beard is 30% THC at this point

It's every little girl's dream that one day that special man will get down on one knee, open up his heart to her and ask for her hand in matrimony while some guy yells "MY NIGGA" twice in the background

This is ESPNs version of the line I use on my wife: "I'm sorry that made you feel that way."

I was running the other day and thinking of your playlists. My two favorite songs for keeping me up and going right now are "Bodysnatchers" by Radiohead and "3x3" from the new Bloc Party album. That 3x3 song is a little off-putting at first, but by the time he is yelling "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES" at the end you…

Funny, soccer is usually the last sport to light up the scoreboard.

That is just entertaining as hell. I watched it three times...America needs this guy calling our football