The levels of condescension in that tweet are staggering.

My grandmother, in her nineties, said that one of my cousins should really see herself in a three way mirror so she could see how “outrageous[ly fat]” she looked from behind. I said something along the lines, “If she’s happy, who cares?” and my grandmother said, “Oh, darling, compared to her, you’re a chorus girl.”

In the Renaissance gallery museum in HS, my (dancer) friend says, “You know, you would have been a total babe in the 16th century.”

My mother’s family tends to be swarthy, and I’m the weird repository for recessive genes. Like, to the point that people used to ask my mom if I was adopted. She liked to say things like, “You were the first blond I ever thought was pretty.”

Honestly? Cooties. Absolutely serious, it’s a visceral fear of contamination. In a lot of places, pools were drained and refilled in between swim times for Blacks and Whites.

I love how you said, “I have a mom like that”, instead of the more common, “My mom is like that.”

Yeah. God forbid you neighbors and coworkers should be walking around with smiles on their faces today. You wouldn’t want them to get any pleasure from life.

Yes! He came to mind first when I thought of celebrities who are taller than you think. He is shockingly tall in real life.

You said that women weren’t picking up instruments. Young girls have always been picking up the instrument that is voice. And, no, these aren’t all rock/punk/hardcore festivals. Bonaroo, Coachella, and Lolla? No, they’re all multi-genre festivals with hiphop and pop artists.

They are. I work in the path of Lolla and the age range is varied, but there are tons of young people there.

Doesn’t even exist.

Paul McCartney is headlining Lolla.

The top three selling albums of 2014 were performed by women. Women artists are selling records and concert seats LIKE CRAZY. For the record, the voice IS an instrument.

Traditionally, it’s bad luck to outfit a nursery before the baby is born as it’s tempting fate. There is no baby until there’s a baby, etc. Kind of like how we don’t name kids after the living, some superstitious holdover.

Two baby showers? Oh no no. One, you get one.

I just threw a shower for someone this weekend. It cost waaay more to throw than the cost of the gift we would have given AND it included a ton of work.

Redacted.

Psst. It’s Primates of Park Avenue, not Park Slope. (As a primate raised in the latter neighborhood, I’m sensitive to this distinction.)

Please. Gambling can be an addiction. It’s about brain effects. Plenty of people become dependent on pot because of how it stimulates the brain. The technical definition of addiction is something that people feel compelled to use or do in order to stimulate pleasure or reward, despite negative consequences. That some…

I’m pretty sure it’s been that way for young people for a long time, and that millenials are likely to grow out that when they have more cash and are less entranced by the novel.