A girl after my own mummified heart:

Bye.

no, but you might like these

The other day I was leaving from work and noticed the tell-tale green box of Thin Mints lying in the road. Then I saw a sleeve of the cookies scattered across the road, but I couldn't find the second sleeve. I slowed to a crawl and scoured the area, finally noticing the intact roll of deliciousness resting, apparently…

I feel the same way about reading your comment. And that only took me 5 seconds.

Does anybody remember when the trefoils came with sugar crystals on them? Or was I hallucinating in the early 90s.

I still fucking use this line.

Thin Mints are gross.

The burrito bowls are so easy to reheat too. :) Fellow is 6'5" and 215 pounds and can't finish a Chipotle burrito.

I think she has a great, interesting voice. Her cover of "50 Ways" was really good. And no one but Miley could wear that pantsuit.

You don't have to eat the burrito with the umpteen billion calories. You can customize your food there (or pretty much anywhere) to leave off the shit that's really bad for you. But who wants to eat a burrito with no cheese, guac, etc. etc. etc. I say this as a person who made turkey "tacos" the other night. Yes, it…

Exactly! I have no problem with a Chipotle burrito taking up the majority of my calories for the day... because it usually takes me the majority of the day to eat it. Funny how that works out.

We were just talking about her last night. Everything had butter in her food. Lots of fucking butter. I swear one time on her show she literally said "IF IT DOESN'T TASTE RIGHT JUST ADD MORE BUTTER. BUTTER FIXES EVERYTHING." She would add extra butter to her butter.

I agree with literally everything in this article but questioning teacher passion. Given how they are treated, I think you damn sure need SOMETHING to survive. Source: I am a teacher.

When I was a barista, my ability to mainline as much free coffee as I liked was the only aspect of the job I felt enthusiastic about. And it probably made me a much perkier* employee.

Actual feedback from an interview (paraphrased, because it was 1999):

I think I convinced my boyfriend to marry on the sole concept of bridal gifts. ^_^;;

I don't know. I think it might end up being convenient if I ever decide to marry my boyfriend. That way, he can get all sorts of the video games and gadgets he likes as wedding presents and I can go to Best Buy and look for a new boyfriend.

I had sex with my FWB towards the end of my period. The next morning I had to get up and leave early and I got a text that afternoon: "you could have mentioned you were on the blob, I got up to pee and thought I was dying"