It was about getting pregnant outside of marriage, but there is a suggestion of abortion.

Listen, Jez-Writers, we get it. You're a bit of a clique and you sort of hive mind who you love and who you hate on this minute. It's become painfully obvious. Even now with a batch of new writers, we're still getting these pop-culture articles that all fit together so nicely.

However, Madonna has been playing this "I…

Hmmm. She already did the matador thing 20 years ago.

This is by far my favorite Shade Court yet. It only gets better with each edition.

I live to serve.

It helps that I grew up in the south where, as everyone knows, "bless your heart!" usually translates to "fuck you, bitch"

I like to describe shade, when done well, as a single drop of poison in a jar of honey. It is the insult you THINK you've been given but can never be quite sure of.

WHAT?

Lol... They are both available at ulta or sephora. Top notch products, but iirc they're about $20.00 U.S. Good news is I've had them both a couple years and it's just now i need to replenish. You only need a tad. ✌️😃

As a former makeup artist, I've got to suggest, nay, demand, that you use a eyelid primer even if you're not going to wear shadow. Keeps the lid dry and eliminates creasing of shadow, pencils, whatever. Two of my favorites, Two Faced Shadow Insurance and Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion in Original. Go forth and be…

Unreciprocated flirtatious winking is on that list.

Blond eyelashes unite!

Now I'm trying to think of other things that could possibly make your eyelids fatigued.

When I don't wear mascara people ask me if I'm dying of stage 4 cancer, so Uma, I feel yew heavy.

He looks exactly like my friend Misty when she got super drunk at Grad Night and saw her ex kissing a girl from another school and cried through her mascara and wiped her eyes like "Whatever. I'm fine! Let's go on Space Mountain!" And then she threw up.

I almost never laugh at comics, even when they're funny (I just smile wisely), but she had me laughing out loud. And it's for Valentines Day because blood, red, fertility, death, and STRAWBERRIES!

DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE AT ALL

I am 19. It shall be titled, "Memoirs of a Gaysian."

My mother was working in a restaurant when she was 20, and she had previously warned the manager on numerous occasions about serious issues with the smoke hoods, and the air vent. The manager never did anything about it.

I know you're like 21 but if you wrote your memoirs right now I would read the everloving hell out of said book.

*plunks down for story time* I GOT SOUR GUMMY WORMS YALL.