Parodies all around:

Please. Dawn goes into college where her healthy eating obsession is turned into a full blown eating disorder. She eventually has a nervous breakdown her junior year and her parents have to come drag her out of a fraternity house after she had too much speed. After a stint in rehab, she convinces her boyfriend to get…

YES IT IS. ALL OF IT.

Cathy loved FUCKING doctors. FTFY.

Mark. I am only one paragraph into this, but felt compelled (COMPELLED I tell you) to come down here straight away and confess my love for you and the things you choose to write and share with us all.

Oh, well I really did like her freaky old house. But I didn't like her and her crunchy granola hippie ways.

Mark , I'm pretty sure you just achieved cult status. This was the tipping point.

Three highlights stand out for me:

My mom uses that on 99% of my wardrobe choices.

My grandma and mother both use"...it's interesting"

"Well, as long as you like it, that's the main thing".

Do you want me to send the paramedics to your house after they leave mine?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HOLD THE PHONE. How are you not immediately checking other websites to find out what the Neckbeard Collective thinks of you (and, by extension, all feminists)? It's v. important! Put down your tampon made of free-range hemp and male tears! Get to Googling, homey.

This is how I imagined his response to you to be...

Nobody cares. Go check out /b on 4chan if you want to know what most 12-26 year old men with poor socializing skills think of feminists like you.

Wow, that is super generous of you. I was just going to give him this:

I'm your least favorite commenter??!!

Maybe Cam refuses to eat because he's waiting to be vaccinated.