Yes eventually it became clear he was a paying guest but he stubbornly remained black.

Imagine being this contemptuous and hateful to anyone who makes you acknowledge your privilege 

When I read this quote, all I could think of is how Trump’s gonna be totes jelly at the top-notch lawyers dying to work with the Congressional Dems, when he couldn’t get a ham sandwich to be his attorney.

Frankly, I would slow play it. I can count to double digit instances of obstruction of justice, and I am just some yutz without any investigative power. Just prove each instance with a clear paper trail, then as vote to impeach on each separate one, one at a time. Make Senate Republicans stand up every time and vote…

I don’t think Trump’s base is nearly as big as he thinks it is.

Spent on the Bun!  The old-fashioned way to prevent pregnancy.

To be fair, when there’s a river of ectoplasm running beneath your city, you really can’t expect to get much more than maddened ghouls in charge.

Damn you, now I’m tearing up. I miss Mom and Dad so much...

It’s the expression she makes when she is rebooting.

Whatever happened to Barron, anyway? Is he staying at Uncle Vlad’s for the duration of the Trump presidency as collateral?

A black man would have never even won the primary if he had five kids from three baby mommas and five bankruptcies.

Well, he usually asks kids how their 401k portfolio is looking, but knew to stay away from that subject. 

During a government shutdown, evidently, NORAD’s Santa Tracker is considered an ESSENTIAL SERVICE; presumably to accommodate that most essential service of all: the PRESIDENTIAL PHOTO-OP.

I’ve lost count the number of time I’ve accidentally fallen on to a 6-8 inch penis shaped object, with my ass. It happens!

All I have to say is the kid should have had the balls to off himself and leave everyone else alone. The world would have been better off. Fuck Nick and other little boys like him. But they have to be dramatic and get that attention so they kill a bunch of their fellow classmates or teachers or parents or family, and…

Dickens makes a lot more sense if you remember he was paid by the word.

Hey, hey, leave his sister out of this.

Hey Tucker, you!

The other thing we all have in common is our hatred of you, Ann.

you’re in over your head