Mother fought a snarling great Dane with a water pistol loaded with ammonia, and won. 

“Paltroon"- sweet!

It’s the “More So” principle. The older you get, the more so you are. So you see, he’s been a shit stain always, now just More So.

Most of the dicks I have dealt with are snowflakes, in one way or another, especially the outliers 

Corvette embarrassment is my meat. Is it the rear wheel drive that befuddles? 

Curved junk has its charms 

Yeah, he’s what we call a train wreck. Metformin and atorvastatin only get you so far. The loose suits hide the Aldactone boobies.

The obvious plastic surgery! He's awfully shiny lately. 

They DO make for amusing YouTube videos when taken out for "a drive" 

Cricket, the answer to every question: sex or money. Which do you think?

Approve Blazing Saddle quote

Nucking futz. 

Oh, hun. I'm off to mow the yard because today is painful, just like every year. Best to stay busy. Your comment so succinct, so heartbreaking. Hope you're living the best life now and always. 

Dahling! Your imagination exceeds your reading comprehension! You’ve spent hours typing, typing endless responses. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Give it a rest, Peter. You’re a tad worked up. You obvs feel shady because you didn’t tell the boor to peddle his racist pills elsewhere. You participated. Shit, you ended up in the humidor!

He must be very lonely and unfulfilled, what with the unhung crowd he runs with.

Oh, then try Varsity disposable fountain pens * kisses fingertips like a Frenchman*

I, too, use a lot of words when I’m trying to explain away something that I am not proud of.

Silence means consent. Sorry, standing around listening to this horseshit without calling them out on the racist word implies you consent to its use, and, to the jackass you’re talking to, encouragement to continue.

Yyeah. Or a Plenty of Fish profile name.