ps wayne’s world product placement was the best of all time.

I guess when your patient is more cancer than human, you just throw up your hands and make friends with the tumor.

Coming from...

Get over yourself. Rick Snyder fucked that up all by himself, therefore Rick Snyder is SOLELY responsible for fixing it. President Obama can help him with the money, but no one gets to pass the buck from the Governor that created the issue in the first place.

Donald Trump loves kids. He’s going to be so good for kids. He’s got the best kids. and lots of them. And one in particular he wants to fuck. Sad!

yup you should have seen him pouring that lead in to the water while twirling his moustache...

SHUT UP YOU’RE CRYING.

How is it that this man turns me, cynical overrational jaded atheist, into a pile of seduced intellectual porridge pining for an Obama hug?

I’m really going to miss that guy.

Oh man. The adoration in that little girls eyes. Americans you’re never going to see such love for your leaders in the eyes of your children again. No matter who becomes President.

I legit cried. I haven’t appreciated all of the president’s calls, and God knows I wished he’s been more vocal about poor people and people of color during his two terms, but damn I am gonna miss the head of the free world being a black man. I’m just saying, even in my short life time, I never thought I’d see it…

I’m going to hell with how much i laughed at this.

I think this is the disconnect between people from places with harsh winters, and people from places with stupid-hot summers, but mildish winters.

In South Texas, for instance, our typical winter low is in the 20s, while our summer high is in the 110s. Most people have electric heat because that’s good enough for our…

My mother has a friend who used to have a little problem with alcohol, before she got all sober and Christian.

Apparently one day she witnessed a young boy bullying her daughter, so she went over to the kid and said “Where do you live?”

He looked at her confused and asked “Why??”

She got down to his level, stared him…

It means Jennifer Garner has a single scene as a dead marine who loves karaoke.

Better than I looked at 19.