Marry me.

Why is this person screaming at me?

Ahh, Malory Archer.

It’s been driving me crazy, trying to figure out of who Pence reminded me....and then it hit me!

THANK YOU!

Queen Charlotte will rule the world.

Hey, anyone remember when Flower the meerkat died? So sad.

How dare she defame the great name of Zoidberg!!

G.I.JOE!

DAY-UM!

Yay! I didn’t know this was out there!

You know, I used to think that Sarah Palin was the master of word salad.

Listen, Gerald, you dumb-ass politician - I live in Wyoming. I work at the University of Wyoming. I’m a woman. And every single month I get a notice from admin that I’m nearly at my vacation accrual cap and need to use it or lose it. I have close to a year’s worth of sick leave built up, too. I come in early and leave…

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna elope with the love of my life.

Well, I self-published my first three books, a zombie apocalypse trilogy with an amnesiac werewolf as the protagonist. Self-publishing is surprisingly easy nowadays. The big headache? Promotion. It really helps to have the financial wherewithal to do great, wide-ranging marketing. I don’t, so I’ve only sold a few…

Yes, and I just got three rejections from three different literary agents in the space of four days (approaching 25 total rejections for my novel - yay!). Look, Jennifer, at least you’re published.