Can I sell an old stake fence as ‘reclaimed wood’? You think anyone would fall for that?

Could this be something we’ll be telling our descendants about - the year we discovered alien life - in future textbooks? Or something we’ll be telling our descendants about as we hunch over campfires in the ruins of civilization after the aliens showed up and blasted us to smithereens?

Also, and not to be super mean, but everybody who’s passed is in a better place and at peace?

I bow down to you!

In the immortal words of Chris Rock, ‘No one goest to Hooter’s for wings!”.

I manage a branch library, and I can wear jeans! yay for comfortable clothes!

Church’s chicken or GTFO!

Obama is so talented!

Wyoming Author Makes NYT Best-Sellers List, Abducts Hugh Jackman At Celebratory Party

Are his eyes pointing in different directions?

Joanna, you are such a liar! Ol’ Handsome Joe Biden is MY best friend! We’re tight! We hang out, like, all the time!

Ick. Babies are gross.

I grew up in Waco. Tell your friend there is ABSOLUTELY no reason to move to Waco. It’s a good-sized city with a very small-town mentality. Best avoided at all costs.

Listen, I spent thirty years of my life in Waco. I’d still rather talk about the Lake Waco murders or the Branch Davidians than these twits.

Maybe if she showed a little leg, you know? What’s up with those pantsuits all the time? A flirty little skirt will distract the menfolks from her shrill shouting!

Yooge treason.

Well-said.

I would settle for clinging to the roof...