Eww! Spiders got stuck to her eyes!

Oh man, is it time to spray the yard for owls again?

This is so much shade it cause an eclipse.

Oh, I'm 46 and still fighting this.

Swing by and pick me up, would you?

Who told you?!

Ah, a patriotic bracelet. Because, as everyone knows, the more you cover yourself in red, white, and blue the more 'Murrican you are.

All of them.

Oh my god me too. I tip very well on the pizza delivery because this nice person is bringing me PIZZA WHICH IS THE FOOD OF THE GODS!!!

His body says "I work out" but his face says "I'm a dick".

Well, it's hardly worth it, but...boooooooo.

Those are some nice looking cuffs.

I've never had a flu shot, and I've only had the flu once in my life - more than 25 years ago. I also rarely get colds; maybe twice a year. The trade-off is that I have nasal allergies that are off the charts. I think I'm allergic to everything - dust, grass, hay, animal dander, rain, snow, days of the week that end…

The blood of my enemies as it dries in the gutters.

How well does dry shampoo work on thick hair? My dad, as he gets sicker (in the end stage of liver failure) and as his mind is slowly going (early dementia coupled with brain damage from an aneurysm) is growing his hair out long, but hasn't washed it in weeks. He tells my mom (he still lives at home - he's not so far…

Excellent article - thanks.